Guilt.

I know that the world would be given to me if I asked for it, sometimes I don't give him enough credit. The shock when I look into his eyes, as I whisper words of a vague future. For the first time I know just how deep the sadness goes. Something is turning knots in the pit of my stomach, something aches at the sound of a name. Love has no real definition, a word that fits with peace and harmony in a sentence. If that is so true, than love should come with no pain. Decisions, decisions, I always make the worst of them. To love? I chose lust, it comes without a commitment. Or does it?
What would have been if these twist and turns would have been recognized sooner? I will only ever wonder, I will never ever see. Once again, everything is hazy. What's even worse, is the guilt I feel when I want the haze to drift away, to another town, another state.
Confusion infests itself inside of my head yet again.