I Wish.

I wish I had someone to meet for breakfast; a caramel latte and croissant. A black dress, white sweater, black bow, and white shoes. Sit outside the cafe downtown, smoke escaping my gray lungs.
I wish I could road trip to Meadow Mountain Cafe. My soul still lingers in the Rockies, it's been there for two years too many. I want to hike and use my Nikon or listen to Conor on the deck. The Fall River rocks you to sleep when you keep the windows open. Huckleberry hot tea.
I wish my stomach would stop growling. It makes that noise too much.
I wish you'd read my letter, but I wrote it as I was falling into dreams.
I wish someone was here to take this stress away.
I wish I had a lover, with the ocean in his eyes. He'd lie in twisted sheets and we'd share a bottle of wine.
I wish someone would count the stars with me tonight.
I wish I didn't live in Newton. Iowa. The Midwest. I want to travel and see buildings, water, brick roads. I want to see poverty, depravity, and interrogate the wealthy. I want to tell a story without using any words. I want to see trees that come to life in the green of springtime. I want to see the animals that parade in other worlds. I wish I could escape.
I wish I wasn't afraid of living. I wish I wasn't so scared of dying.
I wish I had more money, I wish I was the wealthy.
I wish I had a studio or an empty room. Big lights, reflectors, and colored sheets.
I wish I had enough beauty in my bones to take advantage of those who've taken advantage of my soul.
I wish something would change. Soon.

Listening To:
I'm Wide Awake It's Morning- Bright Eyes.
Fevers and Mirrors-Bright Eyes.