Am I Lying?

If I tell you the real truth, you'll think it's a lie.

who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you?
Lauren: A rockstar!
Sarah: You!

what was the last thing you carried to your room?
Lauren: Cocaine.
Sarah: I don't know.

name a boy who's wrapped around your finger:
Lauren: My finger is too small to wrap things around.
Sarah: Too many to name, cause I've got long fingers.


how do you cheer up your best friend?
Lauren: Booze.
Sarah: Booze.

when's the next time you'll be drinking?
Lauren: Everyyydayyyy.
Sarah: Everyyydayyy.

if a guy treats you like his girlfriend but doesn't ask you out and says he doesn't like you wtf's up?
Lauren: I would kill him.
Sarah: What kind of freakin' question is that?

best thing that happened to you this summer?
Lauren: Ohhh wouldn't you like to know.
Sarah: Got drunk.

do you think if you want a guy's attention talking to him then ignoring him works?
Lauren: That fucking makes no sense. Are you in 5th grade?
Sarah: I'm confused.

what do you classify hooking up as?
Lauren: Who has touched and who has dabbled?
Sarah: Lou Reed.

which of your best friends would most likely betray you?
Lauren: Sarah.
Sarah: Lauren.

captain morgan or smirnoff?
Lauren: I want both. And lots. And then beer. And then other stuff.
Sarah: Depends on the day.

predict what will happen this weekend:
Lauren: I will commit suicide.
Sarah: I'll get laid.

last piercing you got and the next piercing you're getting?
Lauren: Ears. Clit.
Sarah: Monroe. Nipples.

if you had the money what is something you would buy right now?
Lauren: PLLAAANNNEE TICKET.
Sarah: Diddo.

who is the biggest cunt you know:
Lauren: S, R, L, and so on.
Sarah: A, T, D, S, and many more.

what are you doing on halloween?
Lauren: Sucking your dick, for a trick. Or treat?
Sarah: Shurg.

are you dressing up as anything for halloween?
Lauren: A little more sluttier than usual.
Sarah: A penis.

name everything in october that you're excited for:
Lauren: Not a goddamn thing.
Sarah: My period.

who do you text the most?
Lauren: Sarah.
Sarah: Lauren.

something you wish your parents would let you do:
Lauren: LEAVE.
Sarah: Go away.

how long did it take you to get over your last ex?
Lauren: Two seconds.
Sarah: A minisecond.


Are you afraid of falling in love?
Lauren: My Lou Reed cd is crazy. That is all I have to say right now.
Sarah: Why does it keep saying that?

What are you doing tonight?
Lauren: DRUNNNK like always.
Sarah: You.

Have you ever felt replaced?
Lauren: This lame ass question is in every survey and it's gay.
Sarah: Wouldn't you like to know.

Do you trust your best friends?
Lauren: I have one BFF and she is right here so I don't want to say shit about her.
Sarah: My answer is, friends should not be plural with me. The end.

Are you listening to music right now?
Lauren: VICIOUS.
Sarah: I hate music.

Do you like coffee?
Lauren: No, I just talk about it every day cause it makes me puke. I want to be cool cause I want people to think that I like coffee but really I only like McDonalds coffee. Wait, what? I'm drunk. I like coffee. For real!
Sarah: Yes, that is why I never drink it. I didn't want to stunt my growth. It worked. (Sorry that I added the last sentence on my own, Sarah. Love, Lauren)

How old are you?
Lauren: Young enough to marry an old man.
Sarah: 83.

Do you have a secret that less than 3 people know about?
Lauren: YEs.
Sarah: Secrets don't make friends. That's why I only have one.

Do you hate or love life?
Lauren: Fuckin' haaate it maaaan. Except when I'm stoned. Fuck yeah.
Sarah: Hahahahahaha.

Do you treat others as you'd like to be treated?
Lauren: Eh, not so much.
Sarah: Depending on the day. Usually not. I am kind of a bitch.

If you were 12 and you could see yourself now, would you be disappointed?
Lauren: No! I am awesome. Plus I'd be so proud of all the dudes I've made love to.
Sarah: Yes, because I didn't end up with JC Chasez.

Do you know your mothers birthday?
Lauren: She got married when she was 22. I don't know anything else about her.
Sarah: Yawn. What's the question?

What was the last movie you watched?
Lauren: Care Bears on Ice.
Sarah: Wizards of Waverly Place.


what was the last movie you saw in theaters? with who?
Lauren: Harry Potter 1.
Sarah: Something with the clingy kid.

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
Lauren: Conor.
Sarah: Conor.

Do people hate you?
Lauren: You bet they fuckin' doooo!
Sarah: That's like asking if you breathe.

Do you cry alot?
Lauren: Fuck no, I'm punk.
Sarah: I'm soooooo emoooo. I wish my lawn would cut itself.